Paying and paying still
for years lived in fear and obsession.
Paying even in advance
for a past, present and future loss
which will never stop to be lost
never stop to be regretted.
Again and again I give myself
many reasons and excuses
which are soothing my heart for a moment
but not for long.
How could you even formulate the words:
“You always did what you wanted anyway!”
This was the deadly blow to my phantasy.
I am glad you did it: I am free!